


A Lingering Ache

by wistfulpisces



Series: 221 Word Drabbles [10]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Angst, Grief/Mourning, I'm really sorry, Inspired by Poetry, M/M, POV John Watson, Pining, Pining John, Post-Episode: s02e03 The Reichenbach Fall, Post-Reichenbach, Post-Season/Series 02
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-17
Updated: 2018-04-17
Packaged: 2019-04-24 04:14:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14347761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wistfulpisces/pseuds/wistfulpisces
Summary: They say you never realise what you have until it's gone. Personally, John thinks that's rubbish: he always knew he would feel this gaping emptiness if Sherlock ever left.





	A Lingering Ache

I never knew my chest could ache like this – over someone I've never had. Someone I've never kissed or even really held hands with. Someone I never will.

It's so wrong to linger on such thoughts, so very, very wrong, but it's all compounding in my head and my chest and it aches. It aches so much that I fear I might carve out the source of my pulse with my own fingertips. Maybe then I wouldn't think or feel this way. At least then, I wouldn't feel the regret of it all.

I would rather take another bullet than come to terms with life without you. It feels bland and beige, lacking your specific flavour of vivacity. It isn’t cold or lifeless but numb, stilted. Everywhere I turn, there is an emptiness where you were, with all of your sulking, bullet holes, coat swishing, shamming, inappropriate laughter, childlike confusion, deductions and – most of all – your quiet affection.

Sometimes I worry that the nothingness tugging on the ends of my memories could consume me.

Didn’t you know that I would've followed you to the ends of the earth? You gave me the slightest push away from you and like a fool, I stumbled on cue. I failed you.

My greatest triumph is loving you, and my greatest regret is losing you.


End file.
